Government orders pussy cull as badgers abandon spreading TB

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Thursday, 27 March 2014

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Humans became infected by merely breathing in or ingesting a badger

Barking, London - Cats are being blamed for spreading tuberculosis following a public outcry at a badger cull that did little to stop the spread of the disease.

Ministry officials handling the outbreak said that a dozen cases of Mycobacterium bovis infection in cats living in Barking, Isle of Dogs had been identified - and must be dealt with forthwith.

The bacterium causes tuberculosis in cattle and other species such as humans who, in tests, became infected by merely breathing in or ingesting a badger.

Now you can add contamination of unprotected cats to the list if the latest scare story is to be believed.

Commenting on the latest developments an animal frights lawyer said that of course it was always only a matter of time before cats became scapegoated.

Next week's cull could start as early as Tuesday when suspicious-looking razorpaws like Tiddles from No 53 Barking Avenue could be the first for the chop.

Up to one million other cats could also be involved.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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