Skid-row Hwang's Xmas smack boat docks

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 5 November 2006

image for Skid-row Hwang's Xmas smack boat docks
Groaning...the 190,000 vessel

London - (Associated Mess): Groaning with more smack than ever seized by HM Customs & Excise on the open seas, the world's largest container ship docked at the Suffolk port of Felixstowe yesterday laden with over 50,000 tonnes of Chinese heroin bound for the UK Xmas market.

And although UK cops are maintaining a news blackout, sources close to near-bankrupt Hong Kong property speculator Victor Hwang are said to be cock-a-hoop that his cash-strapped attempts to claim lucrative development contracts for London's Battersea Power Station are now seriously on-message following an earlier nod-and-win arrangement with UK Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown last month.

Hwang has kept the Met's Serious and Organised Crime Agency in stitches for many years with his stand-up routine claiming ownership of the iconic London site while consistently failing to produce any bona fide references to his business history probity.

A port spokesman has told the UK press that unloading the 190,000 tonne vessel may take a number of days because the Met's crack team of sniffer dogs are still completing essential detox procedures after months of undercover trailing of the Hwang family in London.

But newsworthy developments are being described as 'imminent'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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