The Chuckle Brothers of Royalty, namely Prince William and his bastard sibling Prince Harry have departed the rain sodden shores of Blighty for a spot of weekend wild life and peasant slaughtering in sunny Espana.
Rather than bother with TripAdvisor reviews the daring duo are slumming it on a 37,000 acre estate in Cordoba owned by the filthy rich and utterly useless 'Dook' of Westminster after taking separate token cheap flights with Ryanair to appease the downtrodden and poverty stricken British masses!
During their forty eight hour stay in Spain the two gun slinging clowns expect to slaughter numerous wildlife including Stags, Wild Boar and Partridge and, if they are lucky, a few hapless peasants labouring in the fields for a pittance.
The ill timed trip takes place a mere few days before Wills and his old man, Prince Chas, take part in a new campaign to SAVE wildlife from slaughter and extinction! It was not clear whether Prince Chas was aware of his sons' plans as he was still recovering from an all-night bender at the famous London transvestite venue, the "Way Out Club" with 'Cyril' or Camilla as he likes to be known.
The slogan of the campaign he and William are backing is called "Let's Urinate On Wildlife" which pretty much sums up the Royal's true feeling about defenceless animals, many made even more rare after these two gun happy maniacs have finished their current slaughter!
Prince Haribo flew into Seville airport first with a bunch of gun happy mates and immediately 'took out' a careless baggage handler, Juan Sheet, who had dared to touch his gold leaf suitcase, the body of Juan hastily 'disappearing' after one rotation of the baggage carousel.
Prince William arrived an hour later hastily zipping up his flies as he blew a kiss to the two flushed Irish stewardesses who were flashing their boobs at him and with whom he had enjoyed an 'in-flight' ménage a trios….for an extra £80!!
The laughing 'brothers' then boarded a private helicopter for the onward journey to the Cordoba estate during which time they were able to take pot shots at various Spanish peasants working on their farms.
It is reported that Prince Harry managed to wipe out a total of 37 Spaniards en route without wasting a shot, doubtless attributed to his excellent RAF training. Meanwhile, Prince William did not fare so well, his first shot accidently taking out both pilot and co-pilot of the helicopter by mistake. Luckily, being a trained pilot Wills was able to bring the helicopter down after cracking a couple of Estrella Damm wiping out most of the estates spacious tennis courts in the process!
Both idiots were reported to be unhurt as they staggered giggling, arm in arm, pissed as ferrets and were greeted by grovelling staff that assisted them to their respective rooms to sleep it orf!
Meanwhile, Wills' wife and Prince Harry's part-time poke, Kate, along with his latest full-time shag, Cressida have been left behind in London which suits them both fine. As furtive members of the infamous 'Sewing Circle'-a secret lesbian and bisexual club-they are both lapping it up, literally and metaphorically, and have invited fellow members to a full 'blown' rave this weekend while the two stupid's are away.
Guests rumoured to attend include, Rita Ora, Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Camilla and Lady Gaga …….if he can find something to wear that is….! Apparently, having got wind of the rave Phil the Greek is frantically trying on some of the late Queen Mothers clothing that he secretly stashed away in the hope of joining in the action with Camilla.