Taxman slaps royal scroungers William and Kate with backdated £1million bill

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 29 December 2013

image for Taxman slaps royal scroungers William and Kate with backdated £1million bill
Who you calling a scrounger?

London, UK - Feckless gold-digger Kate Middleton and her idler spouse Prince William have been hit with a backdated £1million bill following an orgy of taxpayer handouts nodded through by Prince Charles.

The bill covers more than three years of the preposterous pair's spending bankrolled by a series of off-balance sheet Palace transactions between so-called royal charities.

These are meant to cover the couple's daily 'essentials' and other stuff - such as Rolls Royce hire and helicopter leasing for myriad shopping mall trips, the annual £1million Kensington Palace apartment rent and funding of dozens of freebie holidays.

Figures seen by QM-NewsCorpse reporters show Kate's yearly grooming bill for Botox, liposuction, hair extensions, hair dye and cosmetic dentistry is nudging £500,000 while William's unpaid online gambling debts are nearly double that amount.

Clothing and jewellery expenditure by the couple has soared to £1million+ while new brat Prince George's personal needs now top over £25,000 per month.

Commenting on whether the royal benefit scrounges are ever likely to cough up their dues a tax orifice source hinted today about the imminent return of debtors' prisons and/or the imposition of mandatory unpaid community work:

"Right rotten pair of freeloaders, these two," Inland Revenue inspector of taxes Kevin 'Gotcha' Snarkey said.

The Queen Mother's jewels have long since been pawned.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more