Secret McCartney Tapes Dynamite

Funny story written by Dogooder Dave

Saturday, 28 October 2006

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Bus babes betrayed by Beatle brute

Long known as the nice one from The Beatles, explosive secretly recorded tapes have revealed the truth of Macca's perversions.

World wide fame thrust on the smiling mop top at far too early an age, is shown to have corrupted his mind, rotting it to the very core, as he cruelly has perpetrated an evil trick on bus loads of blue rinsed, cardiganed ladies.

We can exclusively reveal that Paul McCartney has been living a secret double life in his avarice for adulation by posing as sweetheart Irish songster, Daniel O'Donnell.

McCartney's millions, long thought to have been generously used for worthy causes have in fact, been drained on his viscious fetish for posing as this gruesome, rictus grinned leprechaun.

Money being no object, McCartney purchased an Irish village installing actors on handsome fees to play this cruel trick on unsuspecting fans. The horror reaching it's depth, as he abused an old woman, forcing her to pose 24/7 as Daniel's doting mother, dispensing cups of tea as the hordes arrived in their charabancs.

Climactic at the thought of their post menopausal nostrils sniffing the very air exhaled by the lungs which have rendered Danny Boy on stages from Dundee to Durham, fans have devotedly made their pilgrimage to finger Daniel's finest bone and nibble his hob nobs. Myrtle McMurdo, president of fan club, Daniel's Dolls, has expressed outrage at McCartney's demonic deeds. "To think that Daniel is not real will devastate our ladies."

McCartney has refused to comment on the revelations and instructed his lawyers to seek a gagging order on My Weekly who had intended publishing the transcripts in their full horror. My Weekly editor, Bunty Bottoms, has vowed to fight McCartney to the bitter end. "We have had to pulp our latest issue with it's knitting pattern for a gorgeous Daniel crocheted figural toilet roll cover and reader's offer to win one of Mr O'Donnells vests. We will not be beat."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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