Liverpond -- "What the bloody **** was that!" shrieked Sir Paul McCartney as a rocket propelled grenade launched by Yoko Ono streaked across the plate glass windshield of his Bentley automobile. "I told you Sir just to Let it Be and not respond to her comments, Sir," said his driver," apparently responding to Macca's recent labeling of Ono as "Not aware that the brightest button on the launch control panel is usually the one to fire the projectile."
The Ono-Macca feud, which goes back to Macca's claim that Ono "broke up the greatest band in history by luring John Lennon away with kinky oriental sex and psychadelic drugs" surfaced again at the Q awards, given annually to the British inventor coming up with the most ridiculous weapon system for use in an upcoming James Bond film.
At the awards, Ono reportedly unveiled a satellite radio which spews out terrible songs with bad rhymes, such as "spoon with june" which would cause a passenger, ANY passenger, in Bond's black Aston Martin to press the cigarette lighter (ejection seat button ) themselves if just to escape from the horrid tunes. "Anyone on a road trip trapped in an automobile with no tunes other than an early Wings album can certainly appreciate the effectiveness of this device, said Tolstoy's widow.
"I really take no notice of her at all" claimed Sir Paul, only after managing to get in the dig about her not being the shiny red button, but instead, a chipped, fading enamel button bouncing around the bottom of the dryer." While Paul, err, Sir Paul has in the past gone so far as to admit that some of his lyrics truly sucked, he still 'Imagines" that he will be remembered long after what's-his-name, according to Trotsky fans.
Davy Jones of the Monkees, perennial second-rans to the Beatles, had the following comment: "Well, we sucked compared to the Beatles, but at least today, forty years later, we're not blaming somebody's bird for our demise. Those guys were so stoned, how many more albums do you really think they could have recorded? The torch had been passed long before Lennon's naked ass made the cover of Rolling Stone, and that's just because Jann Werner's a homo."
Taking a cue from Carrie Fisher, who took similar aim on Jake Elwood (John Belushi) in "The Blues Brothers," Ono apparently staked out some bushes outside McCartney's digs and fired the RPG at his only lightly armored Bentley. "If she'd had time to reload, just IMAGINE the carnage," said driver Pointen Steer.
Los Angeles truck cement truck driver Reginald Denny reportedly sent the feuding (and now dueling) pair an email from his Lake Havasu home asking "Can't we all get along?"
