...Workhouse shuffle - Patients to be charged for hospital stay

Funny story written by Herrdoktorfox

Thursday, 28 November 2013

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Patients should be charged £10 to see their Doctor and a £10 "hotel charge" to stay the night in hospital, a leading stink-tank has said.

The fees could be among a raft of levies introduced to raise extra cash to fund the NHS rather than charge, and possibly 'upset' the thousands of ethnic 'health tourists and other riff-raff who are draining the NHS of over £2 million + a month!

In a new report, independent policy group 'Retrograde' claimed the NHS's funding gap cannot be plugged by extra taxation. Instead it suggests such punitive charges would keep the ever increasing docile and subservient low paid masses in line even more while preventing thousands of people in ill health from actually using the service. Thus ridding the country of vulnerable men, women, children and those aged over 65 who would die very slowly, many in acute pain and discomfort, through lack of proper medical care.

This would then pave the way for those in genuine need, such as overly wealthy Conservatives and Liberal Democrats-excluding that little irritant Clegghorn Foghorn-free top class health care, along with their assorted rent boys, whores and sycophants!

Furthermore, such charges would raise £3billion a year which in turn would allow for umpteen non-essential NHS managers to squander millions on lavish overseas holidays, call girls and countless in-house parties!

Early reports from our Number 10 Downing Street mole indicate that the Tory Fourth Reich Oberfuhrer Herr Do-nothing-Dave is overjoyed at these proposals due to the predicted millions that will eventually die through lack of affordable healthcare.

Oberfuhrer Dave was heard to rant; "Mien Gott, this scheme will save the country £billions on having to invest in tens of thousands of striped pyjamas from Primark and the hiring of numerous BR trains to transport the poverty stricken and infirmed to my designated workhouses across the country. And the added saving alone on punitive dual fuel prices will fill the exchequer coffers to the brim within the year, thus assuring me victory in the 2015 election, wunderbar, the final solution to our austerity plans, wait until I tell Herr Osborne Ya!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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