Former bubble-gum champion robs sweet-shop

Funny story written by Joe Leff

Sunday, 28 July 2013

A champion bubble-gum blower is starting another 5-year prison sentence after an armed attack on a sweet-shop in Gateshead.

Alan Wrigley, 45, was named in the Guinness Book of Records as the young British record-holder after blowing an 18-inch bubble in 1983 at the age of 15.

The court was told Wrigley fell into a life of crime after a series of TV appearances ground to a halt.
"Alan had a taste of the high life," said his father, "but no skills to sustain it."

Wrigley reckoned he had sent out thousands of job applications and had high hopes of being a high earner. "But whenever I mentioned my British bubble-gum record, the bubble just burst."

Police said that Wrigley had committed several robberies using his bubble-gum-blowing skills to mask his face. "This time, when the bubble burst, several people immediately recognized him as a complete pillock."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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