The controversial means of finding gas - known as "fucking" - is being given encouragement by the Government.
Vice Cable, Energy Supremo, is giving all "fucking" providers a tax refund on all their explorations and those communities allowing "fucking" in their neighbourhoods are being helped with a golden handshake.
Vice Cable explained that a "handshake" was not quite the same as "fucking" but it could be a precursor to action down below.
Several Americans, already "fucking" in the States are moving in and have already set up tools ready for the exercise.
However Green Peace are opposed to "fucking", saying that 'You never know what might happen with "fucking" down below. It could lead to unwanted consequences!'
The Pope has advised all Catholics to abstain from "fucking".
