Troops on stand-by as Levy bribe probe cops grill Blair

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 31 August 2006

image for Troops on stand-by as Levy bribe probe cops grill Blair
Morning after the night of the Poodle's Last Supper

London - (Associated Mess): Officers investigating the bribes-for-honours mess that saw the Prime Monster's racket partner Lord Levy arrested last month are reported to be standing by with armed troops in a bid to storm No 10 Downing Street.

It is rumoured that the Met's top cops have a full complement of armed military back-up teams on call as they plan to grill Tony Blair under police caution about his role in racketeering, fraud, embezzlement, money laundering, corruption, perversion of the course of justice and the ennoblement of former UK-stationed KGB hit men as Labour life peers into the government front benches in the House of Lords.

Throughout August the Metropolitan Police has been hinting that no official questions will be asked of Blair until he has had a chance to recuperate from his family holiday in Barbados.

Such compassionate leave from official interrogation is said to be purely out of sympathy for his three week internment with flatulent spouse Cherry Bush QC, whose bloated cellulitic curves were so successfully splashed around the front pages of the world press last month.

But now as the Blairs prepare for their annual visit to Balmoral Castle in Scotland for the ritual humiliation of the late summer House of Mountbatten jamboree, the gloves appear to be off in New Scotland Yard where officers have been trawling through the mountains of evidence they now hold against PoodleCo in the marathon investigation into the cover-up of Labour Party loans from organised crime cartels.

The biggest questions still remain unanswered and are:

How many millions did Lord Levy steal to finance Labour's 1997 general election campaign that saw Blair's Downing Street victory, and how much did his own peerage cost Britain's biggest bankrupt Kevin Maxwell?

Who were Levy's accomplices at Tory Party headquarters?

Where did the House of Mountbatten's sudden rise in personal wealth come from given that the CIA has yet to report back on Saddam's missing oil-for-fraud billions?

Which of Vladimir Sputum's UK-domiciled bastard sons is responsible for the redistribution of stolen Russian oil and gas assets into the coffers of Blair-appointed life peers now jostling for position as wannabbee United Nations ambassadors, assistant secretary-generals, Global Piss Process envoys and chums of Terri Hatcher?

These questions and others are top of the list for the Met's political corruption investigation unit which has been kept informed at all times about the Anti-terrorism division's probe into the airline suicide bombers' plot which targeted up to four thousand US-bound holiday makers.

Meanwhile senior security/intelligence officers in Whitehall's corridors of power are rumoured to be on the point of releasing into the public domain squalid revelations about the Blair-Bush 'special relationship' since its inception after the assassination of President John F Kennedy in Dallas on November 22 1963.

General Augusto Pinochet is believed to be planning a fatal heart seizure to co-incide with the event.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more