Written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 9 February 2013

image for Richard III: Even Non-Brits Want Him
"It ain't over till it's over."

Yogi Berra was right. "It ain't over till it's over." And for Richard III? It definitely ain't over, not by a long shot.

Not only are officials in Leicester and York fighting to rebury his remains, but other folks -- all of them dead -- want a piece of the action. And they are channeling still-living friends and relatives to lobby for that to happen.

For example, Scottish writer Josephine Tey (Elizabeth Mackintosh), author of the brilliant mystery book, "Daughter of Time," has made her case from beyond the grave. She wants Richard III buried with her and makes the argument, "Hey I wrote a book and defended that guy. Now it's payback time."

Ginger Rogers (Virginia Katherine McMath), actress and dancer, is also putting in a bid for Richard. Her interests have changed over time. She's no longer interested in dancing. Ms. Rogers has told friends, "Richard would be the perfect guest. Since he has no feet, he won't be pestering me to dance."

Irish writer Maeve Binchy, who died in July of 2012, doesn't want Richard permanently but said, "I wouldn't mind inviting him in for a cup of tea, but I just hope he doesn't overstay his welcome. I mean, he hung out under that parking lot for a long, long time."

And the beat goes on.

But the recently deceased former Mayor of NY Ed Koch is one who isn't putting in a bid for Richard. "How am I doin'?" the Mayor said. "Well, okay, but I don't need Richard around to steal my thunder."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Skeleton

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
108 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more