Cats causing sharp rise in child neglect

Written by Joe Leff

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Welfare group Kids'R'Us says kids will suffer as parents struggle with cats.

Record numbers of children are likely to be taken away from their families this year as parents try to fight off massive public sector cats.

Parents in households where one person earns above £50k a year are facing the biggest cats.

These massive cats have been brought in as a result of the Government's extreme feline policy, in conjunction with the Fat Cats Protection League. This coalition policy is based on the idea that kids are too expensive to bring up, whereas fat cats are good at looking after themselves.

Within the next 10 years, many homes will be full of big cats instead of children. Those kids who do survive will probably be seen skulking about the streets at night, and trying to squeeze through little flaps.

Government finance officers reckon this will save the nation billions in school closures alone.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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