Ted Neugent to tour Kindergartens

Funny story written by John_L

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

image for Ted Neugent to tour Kindergartens
The NRA wants more kids armed.

Veteran rocker and mainstay of the NRA is to tour Kindergartens around the US in an effort to familiarize pre-schoolers with automatic weapons.

"Kids need to know about heavy weapons." He told 'Imus in the Morning' "It is every American's birthright to own automatic weapons and we need to start early. The shootings in Newtown prove that we are not trying hard enough. Each of those kids who were shot were big enough to handle an automatic pistol so why weren't they? Because those liberals in Washington are scared of guns."

Others have reacted strongly against the plan. One senior Lawyer Joel Liberwitz an expert in the constitution weighed in. "The constitution was drafted just after we had fought and beaten the British." He said "The wording is such that the second amendment allows for an armed militia and provides for the people to be armed to fight against those who would take away our freedom. We now have the military and the national guard as well as the police which is the armed militia. Many people own hand guns which are for their own protection but the NRA are becoming a militia in their own right and one that threatens the freedoms of the majority of the people. We are a first world country so why do we want to expose our children to armed people on every street corner and normalize them to both guns and killing. At the same time we sign up to motions in the UN that aim to protect children in Somalia, Syria and The Congo from this. It is time to return to the spirit of the second amendment and not the perversion of it that is sold by the NRA."

With one of its major media backers Rupert Murdoch turning against it the NRA are starting to be isolated. Threats to cut funding from politicians are all they are relying on. However they are planning a rally in Washington for New Years day where Neugent will attempt to assonate President Obama.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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