Things Can Only Get Bitter as cops bust Poodle's bagman

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 12 July 2006

image for Things Can Only Get Bitter as cops bust Poodle's bagman
Cherry Bush, Michael Levy and sycophant Chris Smith in happier days

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Prime Monster's Middle East envoy, top fun raiser and official bagman Michael Levy is in a North London slammer today after the Serious and Organised Fraud Squad of the Metropolitan Police busted him in their investigation into the cash for honours fiasco.

His arrest comes amid allegations that he stole over £7million at gunpoint in 1996 from the chief prosecution witness against Cherry Bush QC in a perversion of the course of justice lawsuit, distributed it among bent UK lawyers and judges who had part-heard the evidence against her and then framed his theft victim for war crimes committed by Thatcher administration stooges - who then recommended him for a life peerage in the Queen's Official Birthday Honours List when Blair wormed his way to an Operation Landslide election victory in 1997.

The Bush Administration in No 10 Downing Street subsequently rewarded Levy's enterprise and elevated him to the role of Personal Prime Ministerial Envoy to the Middle East as US and UK spooks searched frantically for the flimsiest shreds of evidence of Saddam's weapons of mass delusion.

Levy then became immensely successful as chief war drum beater and was given unprecedented access by US Vice President Dick Cheney to stolen funds from Saddam's Oil-for-Fraud scheme brokered by Kofi Annan and organised crime cartels reporting to offshoots of Ken Lay's collapsed ENRON empire.

These he lavished on Middle Eastern potentates, arms dealers, bent diplomats and senior members of both the UK's Hellfire Club and the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones.

As war broke out against Saddam in early 2003, the Riggs Bank funnelled a series of multi-million dollar bankers' draughts into Levy's offshore bank accounts in the Carribean, taking his personal net worth into the heady stratospheric levels of the mega-rich.

This afternoon Levy, 61, is being questioned in a North london police station as a frantic No 10 PR machine goes into overdrive in a desperate attempt to salvage its last-chance saloon image.

An ashen-faced Tony Blair was seen briefly this morning at Prime Minister's Question Time as the news began to break that his chief rent boy had been busted and that other arrests were imminent.

Other reports have suggested that Cherry Bush QC has attempted to flee the country on a North Korean Airlines VC10 bound for an undisclosed destination in the Pacific where no extradition treaty is enforceable against her.

A statement is expected imminently from No 10 Downing Street outside which a team of men in white coats is reportedly on standby just in case the tranquilliser stun gun borrowed from London Zoo's rhino house which the police are trying to use against the Prime Minister's wife fails to yield the expected results...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more