Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

image for "Can You Smell Shit In Here?" Tuvalu Kate Asks William At Website Office
Not Available In Smellovision.

In an aside from legal wrangles in La Belle France, relating to a certain 'invasive photographic' orgy of unnecessary and quite pointless overexposure, which of course was lapped up by the French, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been getting away from it all by enjoying a triumphant tour of the South Pacific.

Until, that is, the Royal couple entered the offices of a Tuvalu satirical internet website, on a goodwill visit.

Things got off to a cheerful start as Wills and Kate waved 'things' to photographers, as they entered the offices of Whackjob.con with well wishers, waving - for reasons unclear - pancakes at the young Royals.

It wasn't long before things took a slightly sinister turn.

"Can you smell shit in here?" a lipreader attributed Kate as saying to her husband.

"Absolutely darling. The place positively hums of freshly laid turd," Wills allegedly responded. (Although this has yet to be confirmed.)

A brief exchange followed, which has been suggested involved the Duchess asking the Duke if people were endlessly rattling on about her tits again?

The response intimated that; it did indeed seem to be the case that people the world over actually were endlessly rattling on about Kate's tits again. And again. And again...

And yet again.

Ad nauseum.

One observer stated that she overheard the Duchess say that if the Duke was embarrassed by the blatant violation of privacy, and by the content contained in that naughty French magazine, that perhaps she should consider having her 'airbags' surgically enhanced. To make for better shots.

Perchance a similar occurrence should come about in the near future.

The Duke appeared to knock any such suggestion firmly on the head by saying, "For fuck's sake love! If I'd wanted to marry a hot air balloon twinset of outrageously enormous top bollocks, I'd have married Katie fucking Price!"

"Awww! that was soooo sweet!" said Whackjob.con bouncer, Billy Ray Gubbins. "They're sooo in love...it makes me go weak in the head. Even though the poor girl doesn't have much to shout about up top."

"Still stinks of shit in here, though," complained the Duchess.

"Come ahead Flapjack...we're leaving," said Wills.

"What did I do?" said a distraught Whackjob.con CEO, Ali Bullo, as the couple hurried from the building.

"Leave my boobies out of this! Thankyou very much! You horrid little oik!" Kate said as she frowned, scrunched up her ample nostrils and flounced to a waiting limousine.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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