Mossad offers to help out in Assange debacle

Written by queen mudder

Friday, 17 August 2012

image for Mossad offers to help out in Assange debacle
World-class spookery 'apart from that body-in-the-bag cryptographer business'

London - Israel's top London-based spook has offered his services to smoke Julian Assange from his spider hole in Ecuador's Knightsbridge embassy.

"You wanna have him taken care of, right?" is how Brigadier Shlomo Falaffel put it to Foreign Secretary William Hague this morning as the two met to discuss the case.

"As I see it there are so many viable options," Falaffel continued, "including 'natural causes', accidental tragedy, auto-erratic asphyxiation, etc.

"Usual terms would apply, of course."

Apparently Mossad owns the freeholds of neighboring properties on either side of the Hans Crescent legation officially occupied by Ecuador ambassador Ana Alban Mora.

And, since June this year, fugitive from justice Julian Assange who has skipped £240,000 bail ahead of extradition to Sweden.

Commenting on this morning's working breakfast a Foreign Orifice official hinted that Mossad's special ops division was world-class 'apart from the odd Plutonium-210 cock-up and that body-in-the-bag cryptographer'.

"Still, if they can pipe in some anaesthetic nerve agent into Assange's room on the ground floor next door, it could be the start of a British 'rescue bid', heheh," Archie Fothergill of the FO's PR department told reporters.

"That way they'd have to call for an ambulance to the nearest A and E and Assange would be toast."

Ecuador President Rafael Correa is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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