Assange fears indictment over Ecuador's Chevron scam

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 17 August 2012

image for Assange fears indictment over Ecuador's Chevron scam
Poor sod, let's see if I can order an online pizza for Julian Assange, bound to cheer him up!

Long Island - "He's always been in cahoots with that dumbass Rafael Correa," a leading US taxation consultant commented as a tense standoff between UK police and Ecuador's London embassy escalated today.

The former IRS lawyer who has represented a reclusive group of American Big Oil plutocrats for more than 30 years reckons they hold all the cards about Julian Assange's paranoia regarding possible extradition to the USA.

Decades of confidential annual returns preparation for this secretive cabal has seen Randolph V Crudenbooster III wonder why it spent such inordinate millions on covert surveillance of someone that British spooks once described as 'an Australian arse'.

"Sure looks like they've got Assange by the short and curlies this time," Crudenbooster said today.

"Reckon these Big Oil clients have bided their time to nail his accomplices' asses - including a disgruntled leading Brit oil exec, a bent Mossad also-ran masquerading as a Canadian human frights lawyer and dozens of George W Bush's extended family members hiding out in Europe."

Former US President George W Bush's foray into the oil business ended disastrously with his company Arbusto Oil's bankruptcy following attempts in the 1980s to seize Chevron assets in Saudi Arabia.

Dick Cheney wishes he were 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more