Gulf of Suez - A colony of 100,000 part-robotic Electromorphus electricus electric eels has been unleashed by the Israeli secret service into the murky waters off Sharm el-Sheikh following sightings of an Iranian nuclear sub. Reports claim the mi...
Washington - A sinister cabal of Skull & Bonesmen masterminded CIA torture according to a leaked Israeli intelligence report. The Mossad Canary Juice division analysed hundreds of hours of harsh CIA irrigations - uh, interrogations. Their f...
Tel Aviv - A professional confidence trickster specialising in celebrity stings has been hired by the Israeli secret service ahead of all out war on Hamas. Mazher Mahmood, former Murdoch investigative reporter (sic) and suspected serial perjurer...
Tel Aviv - The hydraulic fracturing of rocky deposits close to the 1949 Armistice 'Green Line' using pressurized liquid truth serums is under consideration by Israel's secret service according to reports out today. Months of satellite imagery int...
Mumbai - Banned on Vladimir Putin's orders from meddling - uh...contributing! - in an investigation into the sudden, unexplained destruction of Russia's flagship submarine the Kursk in August 2000 Mossad's forensic naval intelligence team has arrived...
Rome - Undercover Israeli secret service agents will be present incognito among Tuesday's inauguration guests after the new Pope tested DNA positive as one of Nazi scoundrel Joachim von Ribbentrop's brats. Their operation comes amid NATO reports t...
London - Israel's top London-based spook has offered his services to smoke Julian Assange from his spider hole in Ecuador's Knightsbridge embassy. "You wanna have him taken care of, right?" is how Brigadier Shlomo Falaffel put it to Foreign Secret...
London - The atmosphere in Rome is said to be 'psychotic' as the discovery of a demonic throne on Mars this week has sent shockwaves through the Vatican. Experts say the Martian carving appears to be a much bigger copy of the Fauteuil du Diable -...
NEW YORK, New York - A number of Egyptian-Americans, including a few of the more notable Egyptian bakers in the city, have converged on the few Egyptian bricklayers and police officers who live and work in the city. In an action that seemed suspic...
Norfolk/Suffolk Border - (Boy Oh Boy): Rumors of a Mad Vlad caveat "...because we always outsource to Mossad, heheh!" have done little to dent Julian Assange's mood. Persistent reports that the whistleblower was thrown out of the KGB 'by Putin him...
London - (Aldrich Ames Mess): The spotlight is on a UK-based KGB passport forgery gang suspected of issuing fake IDs to a Mossad hit squad behind the Dubai assassination of Hanmas operative Mahmoud al-Mabhouh. The shadowy counterfeitters are belie...
London - (Torquemada): A routine electronic sweep at famous defamation lawyers Finkleshyster & Chutzpah's London office has uncovered an Aladdin's Cave of bugging equipment bearing all the classic hallmarks of a paranoid Vatican snoop. Earlier...
Yellow Sea - (Blitzkreig): Members of a Mossad hit squad that took care of some nasty Hamas business in Dubai earlier this year may be involved in today's incident in the Yellow Sea. A South Korean 1,200-tonne corvette The Cheonan took a massive t...
London - (Oy Vey! Mess): "I was only following the Boss's orders!" disgraced Mossad operative Yuri Finkleshyster said today. The Israeli Embassy gofer has been accused of forging 12 UK passports in the Hamas leader Mahmoud al-Mabhouh's Dubai death...
Tel Aviv - (Tell Him Anything You Like!): Mossad high command has blamed Peter Mandelson's fetid IRA birth mother, a resident in the Persian Gulf, for the Dubai hit on a Hamas commander wanted for, er, something. Svetlana Khrushchev, 70, spawned t...
Irishman Cillian Murphy known to his friends as Silly wants to know how British Passports were used in the murder in Dubai last month of a top Hamas member. Al Mahmud a founder of Hamas was found dead in his hotel room on January 20th this year. L...
London - (Woolly-Bully): The Dubai passports and assassination row escalated today with Israel's top Mossad tough guy making a formal complaint about the UK National Bullying Helpline. "We seriously considered all their tips," he commented. "Vi...
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