Slapped Arse Looks Like Queen's Face

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Monday, 11 June 2012


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You've heard of the piece of burnt toast that looks like Jesus, the tea leaves that look like Elvis, and used tampon that looks like the Mother Theresa. Now there is a new addition to the list of everyday objects that look like famous people - a slapped arse that looks like HRH Queen Elizabeth II - and it's all thanks to London's Fetish community. Dominatrix and Chair for her local Conservative Club, Nigella Tompkinson-Smyth, retells the story:

"It was the Jubilee weekend, I had just watched the Royal flotilla and I was feeling particulally patriotic. We in the Fetish Community don't like to miss out on these events you know, we like to do something special. I'd already decorated my sex dungeon with bunting, popped a Union Jack ball-gag into my slave's mouth and was in the process of giving him the beating of his life - turning his bare bottom red, white and blue if you will - when I was struck by how the pattern of welts and bruise bore and uncanny resemblance to the face of our very own head of state, Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II!

Nigella immediately snapped a pic on her iphone and uploaded it to her twitter and facebook pages.

"I was pleased to say the response from my fellow Tweeters was mostly positive, I remember one person tweeted that the image looked almost exactly like the Queen's face when she was standing on the Royal barge watching the flotilla. Anyway, Within hours the pic had been re-tweeted tens of thousands of times and I was starting to get phone calls from newspapers. I was totally gob-smacked, or should that be arse-smacked! Snort! Snort!"

Not everyone was so convinced by the likeness however, one media commentator stated:

"It looks nothing like the Queen, if anything it looks more like Bernard Breslaw in drag!"

Does the slapped arse look like the Queen? You be the judge, visit our website www.doesslappedarselooklikequeen?.com and vote in our exclusive poll.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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