Civil War Threat Over Library Closures

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

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Anti-library closure activists fear civil war on English streets following Brent Council's 'cowardly' dead-of-night raid in Kensal Rise today.

The council hit the library to remove books, photographs and comemmorative plaques at 2am, under the guard of 12 police officers and 15 security guards.

Council workers had the guard in case the half dozen middle-aged campaigners 'guarding' the library with their Thermos flasks and sandwiches "got nasty."

"They're a particularly dangerous bunch of bookworms, and we didn't want to take any risks," said a spokesman for Brent Council.

But a Save Our Libraries spokesman said Brent's precipitate action could have serious repercussions.

"We're going to be ready in future and this could lead to civil war. We won't stand by and let these council Phillistines get away with this - we'll be proper tooled up next time they show their ugly mugs."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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