Spitting Ban Is Breach Of Human Rights Claim Expectorators

Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 11 February 2012

image for Spitting Ban Is Breach Of Human Rights Claim Expectorators
Mr Snook yesterday

A London council's plans to ban spitting are a breach of human rights says a national pressure group.

Enfield Council has collected 3,700 signatures on a petition calling for the ban and now is asking local government minister Eric Pickles to approve the bylaw.

If he does, people who spit in the borough could face fixed penalty fines of £80. Refusal to pay could lead to prosecution and a maximum fine of £5,000.

Enfield councillor Chris Bond, the council cabinet's environment member, said: "Spitting is a truly disgusting habit and the vast majority of people are in favour of us banning it."

"It's a diabolical liberty, is what it is," says Bernard Snook, chairman of the National Association of Hawkers and Expectorators.

"Surely it is the right of every Englishman and woman to hawk a satisfying loogy.

"Furthermore, it is an artform to be admired. Who hasn't stared in awe at the expert flobbing of a beautiful green bleg, describing a perfect arc through the air, onto the pavement by a true specialist?"

Mr Snook adds that if the ban is imposed, his organisation would take Enfield Council to the European Court of Human Rights.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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