Gritters asked not to take short cuts

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 2 February 2012

image for Gritters asked not to take short cuts
Ben Topen heading home up a major A-Road

As the weather in Britain worsens and turns freezing, the gritters are out in force. In one borough of East Manchester the gritters have been asked not to take short cuts this year.

"We're not talking about only half filling the bucket, or failure to indicate on a roundabout here," said Tameside's head of gritting, Harry Beard. "We're talking about missing out whole stretches of road by nipping across back streets to save a bit of time."

Some of the outlying areas of Mossley, Lees and Mottram are being completely missed as gritters cut across the back streets to shave off thirty minutes of gritting.

"It's terrible," said Ben Topen, a Mossley resident. "You can see where he comes up Mossley Road then hangs a sharp right down toward Ashton. A lot of cars come up this way, well the do when the main road's not got three inches of permafrost or covered in a foot of snow."

Not all the residents of Tameside are upset at the gritters short cut propensity.

"I think it's great," said Anita Carr. "I live down one of the back streets the gritters are using for short cuts. Our road's always completely snow and frost free. We can always get out. I hope the council don't force the gritters to stick to the main roads or I'll be stuffed."

Beard has some bad news for Ms Carr.

"We've instructed the gritters to stick to the scheduled route," he said. "It's important, as it goes past the hospital."

"Typical," said Carr. "Why do I pay council tax?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more