The Internet Health & Safety Monitoring & Investigation Unit, are looking into claims of relatives of an elderly Spoofer, Inchcock Chambers, of Nottingham, that he suffered a setback in his cardiac recovery programme, caused by the site being down, and the decrepit pensioner being unable to dispense his usual rubbish for others to pretend to read.
A spokesman for Sue Yew Solicitors said: "It is so sad, that due to the negligence of the Spoof, my client, Inchcock's sister, has had to take this action on behalf of Inchcock, as he is in no state to pursue any actions as a result of his suffering from 'Withdrawal from the Spoof Syndrome'.
Inchcock's Sister commented: "Fair enough, I've not actually seen him for 5 months, and it's no good phoning the pillock cause he's deaf! But when I eventually heard of how the dustbin-man found him in the back yard chewing on the remains of a pigeon, I knew something was wrong! I sent my husband down to see what had happened, and he found the laptop on - with a message on the screen saying that 'Google Chrome cannot access thespoof.com', and a tab open on a Shemale site, so then I knew that something had sent the idiot over the top", naturally any money we are granted, I'll look after for him until his funer... er.. he is better!"
Ambulance men reported that they were worried, as they found the house to be in complete disarray, untidy, dirty, and bereft of any food.
Inchcock's neighbour said this was normal.
As they took him away, he had a strong tic in his left cheek, was shaking his head, passing wind, muttering unintelligibly, with his right index finger stuck up his left nostril.
The Police Officer in attendance said: "This was normal and is to be expected from a Spoofer with Withdrawal Syndrome!"
The hospital said Inchcock was being treated for Angina, high blood-pressure, incessant gobble-di-gook, Impetigo, Arthritis, a lump on his head, and his having swallowed pigeon feathers.
