Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for Mickey Finn suspected in House of Commons bar room brawl
Joyce was quaffing pints of Thatcher's Old Peculiar when he went beserk

London - Was a dodgy illicit cocktail responsible for the drunken fracas in the House of Commons' Strangers Bar last night?

Falkirk MP Eric Joyce was arrested following the ugly spat that saw him headbutt and punch a number of honorable fellow members before police carted him away in handcuffs to the local slammer.

This morning there were claims that someone may have slipped mind-bending substances into Joyce's pint of Thatcher's Old Peculiar sending the ex-army officer 'totaly beserk'.

The brew is fermented locally in the Commons cellars to an ancient recipe used as a traditional alternative to dental anaesthetic during routine molar extractions.

Police have appealed to witnesses amid reports blaming tipsy Scottish Nationalists for adulterating Joyce's tipple with exotic powders normally enjoyed in secret at Gents conveniences everywhere.

A Labour Party source said at lunchtime that Mr Joyce had been suspended from the party amid calls for the introduction of random drink and drug testing throughout the Palace of Westminster.

Eric Pickles is named after a jar of soused gherkins,

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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