Following the discovery of a dead body on their Sandringham estate, the Royal Family has categorically denied that the body is that of a member of the public who was shot by Prince Philip.
The Prince, who had spent Christmas in hospital following heart surgery, had recently expressed his regret a missing the annual Christmas hunting parties, and stated that he was 'saddened not to have had the opportunity to shoot something's face off'. The Prince had been seen in the last few days wandering aimlessly about the royal estate in his jammies brandishing a shotgun.
Their lawyers have released a statement saying the Prince had in fact been tree spotting and the reports of Philip reportedly shouting what sounded like 'shoot the bloody foreigners' was actually ' foot long muddy conifers', 'dirty commoners' was in fact 'thirty common firs, and 'I've got the filthy prole in my sights, I'll bloody shoot him, I will, right in the bloody face' was more accurately ' look at that nice tree'.
The investigation continues.
