Leveson Inquiry To Investigate Tabloid Riot Plans

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

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Lord Leveson's Inquiry into media standards is to expand its investigations into tabloid newspapers' plans to foment riots on British streets.

The news follows yesterday's publication of the official review of police tactics during the summer disturbances.

In his report, Chief Inspector of Constabulary Sir Denis O'Connor
said police officers should be prepared to use "extraordinary measures" to reclaim the streets, including shooting arsonists.

This immediately caused excitement in some right-wing tabloid editorial offices.

EIF News & Features media editor, Heneage Tubule, said: "Oh yes - they're rubbing their hands with glee over this. I understand The Express and the Mail have got reporters infiltrated into all sorts of gangs and radical groups ready to spark trouble on the streets.

"They heard Sir Denis was thinking this way, so obviously they want things to kick off so the police can start shooting all the 'rioting and looting chav bastards'."

Tubule's report, which is completely unverified by any reliable sources, has been handed over the Met Police and the Leveson Inquiry.

A spokesman for the Met probably would have told us: "We can't comment on an ongoing investigation. Get lost!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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