Piers Morgan hints on other wordly source

Funny story written by Sandy Limestone

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

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Piers Morgan, former British Journalist, television host and Britain's Got Talent judge, has said at the Leveson Inquiry via video link that he believed no hacking took place while he was editor of the Mirror, but he didn't rule out using other alternative measures to gain information.

When asked whether any hacking took place between 1995 and 2004 with the Mirror, Mr Morgan said: "I believe I was not shagging in front of a mirror between those years."

Robert Jay QC, counsel to the inquiry apologised for an audio glitch and repeated the question after realising a technical fault had occurred. Mr Morgan who was bright red at this point said: "I believe no hacking was going on while I was there. *"ahem."

The QC asked about a voice mail message that was left for Heather Mills by Sir Paul McCartney, when they were having marriage difficulties, before their divorce.

"We didn't use any private investigators as such, it was just remote viewers, telepaths and tarot card readers. We were very new-age, Fleet-Street savvy back then, but all was within the law," replied Mr Morgan.

Mr Morgan was then asked to give a name to the source of the tape, which he replied: "I can't compromise a friend, as Mystic Meg, Russell Grant and Jonathan Cainer are all very good friends of mine."

Lord Justice Leveson will call Mystic Meg, Russell Grant and Jonathan Cainer to appear to give evidence to the inquiry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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