London - "It was so weak it failed the standard Kyoto Protocol breath test for primates," animal shelter vet Stan Gibbons told reporters today.
"Probably got a lethal lung-full from the nearby A214," SW16 park wardens commented as local eco-nutz blamed a toxic cocktail of carbon monoxide, methane, nitrous oxide and ozone.
Dazed and confused the Madagascar ring-tailed lemur had been discovered collapsed on Tooting Common before being taken to A&E where its haemoglobin levels were described as 'well over the limit'.
Veterinary social workers later demanded to know if the hapless creature had somehow 'missed the bus home' in the annual autumn migration south before placing it on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species 'at risk list'.
It will now be fostered out to carers on the London Borough of Wandsworth's List of Lemur-Sympatric Species.
