Pedestrian dies after being hit by seven cars

Funny story written by Joe Leff

Monday, 5 December 2011

image for Pedestrian dies after being hit by seven cars

Cheers turned to tears after a series of 'accidents' on the A58 near Halifax - all involving the same pedestrian.

Brad Lee Bruzed was well-known in the area as a prolific jay-walker. According to friends and relatives he was attempting to beat the British record for 'being hit by the most vehicles in 1 hour'. The current record is nine, and is held by 'Iron Man' Ivor Rubberbum - a notorious drunkard often seen lunging off the pavements in Birmingham.

The first car - a Reliant Robin - merely ruffled Mr. Bruzed's hair. But the next vehicle was a taxi, which knocked him over - and then stopped to pick him up. After a brief argument, Mr. Bruzed stormed off - right into the path of a 4x4. Mr. Bruzed shouted back with four of his own 4-letter words.

After several more cars had hit him, the seventh - a hearse - left Mr. Bruzed flattened in the road. Apparently he was still alive, but the hearse reversed and ran over him again. "We thought a body had slipped out the back of the hearse", said the undertakers.

Even if he had survived, Mr. Bruzed would have been disqualified in his attempt at the record, because " it is an offence to lie in the road when a hearse is reversing", said a local policeman, shrugging his shoulders as if this was just another normal day around here.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more