London - The true extent of the Italian crisis was revealed today as genealogy experts in exotic genome strains published a comparison of the two women's DNA.
"They've got the same Dad, these two little minxes," Royal Freak Hospital emeritius professor of eugenics Dr Irwin Shagblaster commented at lunchtime.
His findings come as no surprise to opera fans accustomed to Roman artifice where sisters-under-the-skin are often thinly disguised as, er, sisters - and/or slags.
Both women's DNA also appears to carry mutant genes that incline towards marriage with tosspot brothers.
"That makes Big Dave Cameron and Prince William siblings," Dr Shagblaster continued, "their birth Pa is probably Tony Blair."
But the genetics expert is staying mum on the subject of which dastardly Italian stallion may be responsible for spawning these cunning minxes.
"We know for a fact it's not Silvio Berlusconi," Shagblaster added, "because he's been shooting blanks ever since 22 November 1963.
"Best bet is it's some sort of Mafia descendant pal of the P2 Lodge; wanna see pix of bunga bunga parties in the Catacombs where Popes dance naked around a bonfire?"
