London - "Perhaps she thought it was a toga party," a St James's Palace reception guest said today as pix of Kate sporting a tousled bed sheet appeared in UK red tops nationwide.
Satrorial columns soon picked up tell-tale signs of little burn holes in the 600-thread per sq cm Egyptian cotton ensemble as comments began to fly about 'red hot weed seeds' from poorly constructed joints being responsible.
One close up in the European edition of LA FagHagSlagMag.con also showed suspicious looking skidmark shadows prompting rumors of a tragic accident moments before the press flashbulbs popped.
Style gurus also slammed Kate's ever-present one-trick-pony hairdo which relies on foreign imported add-ons to make up the ringletty look.
"Poor cow, she's virtually bald underneath all that hair extension glue," Paloma Pinstripe of Women's Hair Raising said today.
"Apparently most if it fell out after the last IVF cycle sprang a - er... puncture! - during a Chinese Acupuncture top-up session."
Prince Harry is 69.
