Martin Johnson quits role as ambassador for managerial return of Sir Clive Woodward

Funny story written by Deafo

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Martin Johnson has effectively quit his post as full-time ambassador for the managerial return of Sir Clive Woodward after resigning from his position as manager of the England Rugby Union team.

Johnson, who in 2008 began his sustained campaign for the World Cup winners reinstatement through a 3-year-period of imperiously inept displays, announced he was bringing an abrupt end to his very public cheer-leading.

He told reporters, 'I have done everything in my powers to demonstrate the need for the return of the great man, and feel the time has come for me to pass that responsibility onto someone equally as incapable of marshalling a once great rugby team into sporting oblivion.'

'There are only so many times one can send a team out shorn of tactical discipline, surely 38 games is enough to open the RFU's eyes?'

'To compound this, I actually went out of my way to lose a World Cup quarter-final against a France side who were more interested in making their manager look like the muppet I most closely resemble.'

'What more can I do?'

'Other than vacate the very seat Clive should be occupying, not a lot.'

The RFU immediately moved to thank Johnson for his efforts to restore the English team to its former glories.

'We can't thank Martin enough for his stirling effort to help restore England to its former glories.'

'His resignation is the start of that process.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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