Benched Rooney set to deliver most effective England display in years

Funny story written by Deafo

Monday, 10 October 2011

Wayne Rooney is primed to deliver a string of his most effective England performances in years after manager Fabio Capello revealed he would be benching the striker for the build-up to Euro 2012 after being sent off in Montenegro on Friday.

The Italian was adamant the Manchester United marksman would not be part of his plans for the upcoming friendly against Spain citing the necessity to give a run out to other English players just as well versed in failing to deliver on their limited potential.

He told reporters at a post match press conference, 'You know with Rooney, it was a shame for him and for us.'

'It was exactly the sort of fully committed kick that I had been desperately seeking of him with the ball at his feet in an important game for a long, long time.

'But it has been at least six years since I have seen such a performance yet i still repeatedly pick him.'

'This at least gives me the opportunity to test things I would never have had the balls to try if Rooney hadn't made such a foolish mistake.'

Capello denied he had made a mistake in picking the Scouser following the arrest of his father in a police betting probe.

'No, for me, Rooney was in perfect condition for this game.'

'I think he was only angry that his father hadn't told him of the 10-1 readily available on that Motherwell player getting sent off.'

'10-1 on a Scotsman being aggressive?'


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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