London UK: A 16th century manuscript has been discovered in the basement of the British Museum (similar to the American Smithsonian Institution) describing a daring English raid into France over a plagiarized publication.
Sir Mark of Cornwall was the owner of "Ye Olde Spoof" a monthly humor pamphlet published in London for the royals and those British citizens who could read. A traveler returning from France had observed that "Les Spoofe" a publication originating in Paris, a cheap imitation copy of "Ye Olde Spoof" was flooding the European market.
Sir Mark appealed to King Henry VIII for aid in this matter, but the king was more concerned with Francis I the King of France possibly invading England. Sir Mark explained that the loss of copyright royalties meant less tax money to the crown for the support of the Royal Navy. This economic fact got the English King's attention.
King Henry VIII could only spare a single warship for Sir Mark of Cornwall's use, but no Royal Marines. The Mary Rose, a stealthy new warship of the Royal Navy, was to set sail in 1511 on a covert mission to France. The ship was to perform offshore surveillance and reconnaissance to determine if the King of France was going to invade England in the next 10 years. Sir Mark was invited to embark a few good men, who would be infiltrated into France by longboat at Calais.
Sir Mark of Cornwall recruited Skoob1500 and Pecan of Macadamia, although many others volunteered. This small band of dedicated scribes all spoke fluent French and would be the three against thousands. (Some historians believe this group was the forerunner of the British Commandos in WWII and today's special forces.)
It was a dark and stormy night when the team arrived onshore at Calais, strangers in a strange land. A large construction project of the King of France was discovered, called the Funnel (French tunnel) headed for Dover under the English Channel. A connecting oxcart road would run from Paris to the coast to carry troops and supplies for the invasion of England via the Funnel. This shovel ready project was later abandoned, for a more conventional means of invading England.
The three warriors made their way to Paris discovering that this city had 10 times the number of printing presses as London, exposing an English printing press gap. The band destroyed several "Les Spoofe" and other publisher's storage warehouses containing ink supplies imported from the Italian States. (Historians find this strange as France and the Italian States were always at war with each other.) France vowed revenge and arrogantly began to print documents using French Cabernet Sauvignon wine, driving "Les Spoofe" out of business because of high printing costs.
Several months later the Mary Rose extracted the team from France. King Henry VIII was ecstatic, as he now knew an invasion was eventually coming, his tax revenue would be back to normal and he would subsidize printing press manufacturers. Each of the brave three was awarded the Order of the Garter, with the lady still wearing it.
Historians are mixed as to whether this Paris raid caused the first war (1512 to 1514) of the many wars of Henry VIII, between England and France.
