Isle Of Wight's Most Wanted Evades Capture Once Again

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

image for Isle Of Wight's Most Wanted Evades Capture Once Again
O'Halloran somewhere over Ventnor.

Master criminal and Isle of Wight's most wanted man, Curly O'Halloran evaded police yet again, after a four hour siege in a barn on the outskirts of Shanklin.

The wily thief had recently robbed a bakery van and fled to the secluded barn, with the islands police in hot pursuit. Armed response units were called, and a siege situation took hold.

Fearing that the siege could last days, with O'Halloran bedded in with more than enough baked goods to last him a fortnight, police officers worked hard to try and talk the thief out. But their attempts were in vain.

Unbeknownst to them, O'Halloran was hard at work in the barn constructing his get-away vehicle, using items he found laying around inside.

Using several sheets of rusting corrugated iron, some lengths of scaffold pole, the discarded inner cardboard tube from a kitchen roll and a microlight engine, O'Halloran built himself a fully working bi-plane.

He even managed to find several air to ground missiles and an old dis-used bi-pod mounted M60 machine gun with belt fed ammunition, for use should the get-away become hindered.

Using an old computer desk swivel seat for comfort, and constructing the vehicle with the gas cutter and welding equipment left abandoned in the shed, O'Halloran finished his escape vehicle in record time.

Police were shocked and left visibly shaken, when O'Halloran burst through the shed doors, engine blasting. He was seen to ride around in his creation, blowing up dust and shooting wildly without hitting anyone, for several minutes, before taking to the skies.

Police were powerless to respond, as the nearest air support units were over 20 minutes away, and besides that, they couldn't see their radios, because they now had grit in their eyes.

O'Halloran made off towards Ventnor, and was last seen loop the looping over fields, whilst munching on a rather tasty looking sausage roll.

Police have warned not to approach the man, as he is considered slightly mad.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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