Man Utd Manager Ferguson "Going Nowhere" Says Gary Neville

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 5 September 2011

image for Man Utd Manager Ferguson "Going Nowhere" Says Gary Neville
United's new change strip for the second half of next season

Gary Neville, the former Manchester United and England full-back who quit the club in tears in the summer, has openly criticised Reds boss Sir Alex Ferguson in the media, saying under the Scot, United are "going nowhere"

Neville, who played for United for 19 seasons, and enjoyed considerable success during his Old Trafford career, was speaking about the current state of the club, and said that, despite the fact that Ferguson, who turns 70 in December, has won 12 Premier League titles, two Champions League trophies, five FA Cups, four League Cups and 10 Community Shields since he took over in 1986, he isn't really taking the club forward at all.

Said Neville:

"Yes, Sir Alex is the greatest manager of all time, but, in reality, where are we going? The cold facts are these: we may win the title again this year, but what new ground are we breaking?"

He went on:

"There's no point in thinking about the success of Manchester United, if you're not going to think about progress, and, as a team, United are going round in circles, winning everything there is to win."

Neville, who clocked up 400 league appearances and more than 600 in total at United under Ferguson between 1992 and 2011, added:

"Maybe he has reached his peak, a plateau, a long, ranging flat area at a place significantly above sea level. It's possibly time for a change, and for someone to take the club in a new direction, so that it's going somewhere instead of stagnating in an endless, vicious maelstrom of title wins and Champions League adventures."

United fans were in agreement. One told us:

"Gary Neville is a twonk."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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