Ex-OSU Head Coach Tressel Now At Walmart

Funny story written by Spicewood

Thursday, 2 June 2011


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Jim Tressel, the maligned ex head coach at Da Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio was recently spotted working as a greeter in a Walmart in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

A clause in his contract stipulated that each person entering the store be greeted with an "I'm Sorry," rather than the usual "Welcome to Walmart."

When management was asked if they felt he would honor that clause, they indicated that they were aware of his "respect" for clauses, and felt he would eventually resort to the usual Walmart greeting. They also indicated that they were in the process of acquiring a "vest" for him to wear, in maize and blue.

Oddly enough, his pay scale is higher than the store Manager, Bo Bruce, but Tress answered, when asked about it, "Hey, I'm used to that, I made more than the school President, and the Athletic Director, I'm used to being overpayed."

Prior to being hired, he told personnel management that he would not say "Go Blue" under any set of circumstances, and by the same token, he would not utter "Go Bucks" as customers entered the store.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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