Written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 22 May 2011

image for Lionel Messi abducted and knee-capped by x-treme breakaway "real" United supporters
Barcelona fans threatening retribution even without Messi, Wembley's gonna have a massive "knees up!"

It seems a group of radical, breakaway, x-treme and very real Man United supporters has abducted Barcelona superstar Lionle Messi a week before the Champions league final at Wembley.

Messi had booked an Argentinian restaurant for his mum (he's a bit of a mummy's boy) on the Ramblas in Barcelona and after dinner whilst swirling his mum around the dance floor doing the Tango, the x-treme group, wearing balaclava's, whipped Lionel off of his mother's breast and abducted him.

They then sent pictures over the internet of Messi being brutally knee-capped IRA style and the group, RMUFFM (Real Man United fans from Manchester), (a dying breed), gave a statement in a very strong Irish accent?:

"We real Man United supporters from Manchester have only one goal, to make sure Man United rule and we are prepared to do anything to reach that goal, OOHH AAHH CANTONA!"

Messi was found limping around the top of the Pyrenees without his knees by members of the Basque separatist organisation, ETA and they decided to keep him as a bargaining tool in their fight for independence against the Spanish government who have enough problems at the moment, protecting their King.

Sir Alex also gave the following statement:

"We are sorry for Lionel but the show must go on and I'm convinced Man Utd will now rule and I'm not even from Manchester!"

X-treme Liverpool fans are also planning an abduction, guess who they are planning to abduct!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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