SPL Promise Rangers Severe Sanctions

Funny story written by grimbo

Sunday, 3 April 2011

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The Scottish Premier League have threatened Rangers with the "severest of sanctions" should the Glasgow club slip into administration.

The cash strapped outfit may be plunged into administration if HMRC insist on payment of a multi million pound tax bill.

Doubts have been expressed in certain quarters that any punishment imposed on the 2009/10 League champions would be comparable to the 25 points deduction levied on First Division Dundee.

SPL Chief Executive Neil Doncaster moved quickly to allay any fears that the Ibrox outfit would be treated more favourably than lesser clubs :

"There is no question that the full force of SPL punitive powers will be applied to any club failing to maintain financial probity.

The SFA Executive Board has already met and decided that, should Glasgow Rangers fall into administration, a comprehensive set of sanctions will be imposed".

Sources suggest that the measures will involve :

- A ban on the staging of any Orange Lodge marches in the West Coast for the period of Rangers' administration ;

- The cancellation of all flights/ferries from Northern Ireland for the same length of time ;

- No communal singing to be allowed at Ibrox till Rangers get their financial affairs in order ;

- And last but not least, Chick Young to be banned from reporting from Ibrox for the foreseeable future.

The suits down Govan way will be quaking in their boots.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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