Balotelli Announces Hardcore Gangsta Rap Debut

Funny story written by bigbossmiami

Thursday, 9 December 2010

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Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has given a date and track listing for his long awaited rap debut.

He stated he's been able to finish the album over the past few months because of his suspension and "pretending to be injured".

The bad boy stated "It's been a long time coming baby, but this sh*t is ready to drop.

"This is going to be the hottest sh*t in the streets. You won't be able to take a taxi without this sh*t coming out the speaker system".

He claims he was heavily influenced by the American Gangsta scene citing 2Pac, Biggie, 50 Cent and Snoop.

He explained "This ain't no English rap bullsh*t. This is real rap, talking about money, drugs, guns, bitches and whatever else gangstas who live on the street like me do".

Balotelli, who lives in a £2 million Cheshire mansion and has been heavily linked with a move to AC Milan added "Theres alot of double meaning to the tracks but I can let yawl figure that out for yourselves".

He posted a track listing up on his website:

1. Impatiently Waiting
2. Can't Nobody Hold Me Down (to a Contract)
3. 2 of Milans Most Wanted (ft Zlatan Ibrahimovic)
4. How Long Will They Mourn Me
5. Ready to Sign
6. I Won't be Missing You (ft Sting, Every Breath)
7. Picture Me Rollin (Around on the Ground)
8. Get Rich or Try Diving
9. Still Not a (Team) Playa

Theres also a bonus track added following his recent beef with Jerome Boateng. It's entitled You Ain't German (Represent ya Mother F*cking Block).

Balotelli also today admitted that some of his performances have been lacklustre recently as hes been wearing a bullet proof vest during matches because of his "rap beefs".

He's also looking into the possibility of a bullet proof snood.

Balotelli's debut album Ready to Sign is released during the January transfer window and is available from no good record stores.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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