Jimmie Johnson Outperforms Zenyatta to Win Breeders' Cup!

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Saturday, 6 November 2010

image for Jimmie Johnson Outperforms Zenyatta to Win Breeders' Cup!

(Louisville, Kentucky) - NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Jimmie Johnson blew past the field to win the Breeders' Cup at Churchill Downs.

"I really need to thank my team for this big win," said Johnson, age 35.

Meanwhile, the 6-year-old mare Zenyatta ended her near-perfect career with 19 wins and 1 loss.

"So much for her being the greatest racehorse ever," said Johnson. "She might be good, but she's not as good as me."

Horse-racing fans were flabbergasted on Saturday as Johnson's #48 Chevrolet Impala took off out of the gate just behind the rest of the field, then rapidly closed and beat them all by at least two minutes.

Elsewhere, NASCAR fans were surprised to learn of the existence of an activity other than NASCAR.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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