New York Foot-Ball Giants Flib a Slugburger Against Tennessee Team To-Day

Written by anthonyrosania

Monday, 27 September 2010

image for New York Foot-Ball Giants Flib a Slugburger Against Tennessee Team To-Day

DATELINE- NEW YORK CITY, NY, U.S.A.--- It was, said Coach Tom Coughlin, "just a case of the N.Y. Football Giants letting the foot-ball team from Tennessees run through them."

Tossing the foot-ball, and plenty of it, came from the New York Football Giants. Eli Manning was aces, amassing 386 yards in forward passing. But the team played muffins, and were charged with 11 penalties before the final gun was fired, and the Titans blew their wigs, winning the contest 29-10.

"The Titans were butter-and-egg-fly," said Jerome Jones, a Negro, who watched the game from the Colored-only section of the Polo Grounds. "They were just plain crummy."

The Giants couldn't get the engine to fire in the second half of to-day's match, leading to the men in stripes to throw flags for fouls, personal, on players Diehl, Bradshaw and McKenzie, the second of which got him pulled from the game. Later, Giants player Rolle threw a Dempsey-like roundhouse right at the gobble-pipe of a Titan, which got him picking splinters from the pine-bench.

"Say, even dames know that penalties and turnovers ain't gonna get us a win," Diehl said. "You can't play the foot-ball like that. Sometimes you can dig yourselves out of it, but you can't do it consistently."

"It's very frustrating," added defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka, a credit to his race. "It's not Giants football. It's not football at all."

Even the ball-kicker, Lawrence Tynes, was far from sharp-as-a-tack, missing kicks from 53 and 44 yards.

"In this ball-game, we should've giving them a licking," Coughlin said. "We came out, played hard, played well at home. It was a smack in the snot-locker for the lot of us. We were lousy, we stunk up the joint."

The Giants will park the jalopy next week, then are steaming off to Texas to play the Texans in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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