Written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Wayne Rooney bangs em in, not goals, his over-excited, impatient "dick"!
He used to be so young and innocent, what happened Wayne couldn't you score anymore? What a load of old BALLS!

Wayne Rooney has revealed why he was so miserable in South Africa (it wasn't the vuvuzelas either), he didn't miss Coleen his pregnant wife, he missed his £1K a night Hooker!

As the nation waited for Roon to perform in South Africa his mind and his over-excited, impatient "dick" were too busy thinking and playing about with other things, Jennifer Thompson a brunette bombshell (at least she is roughly his age!).

Now it's all come out and Coleen will certainly dump Wayne, who cares, there's plenty of Bimbo's queueing up for the multi-millionaire superstar and his throbbing, Liverpudlian "hammer" to score a few more "penalties"!

Boris Becker, Tiger Woods, Peter Crouch, etc, and now Wayne Rooney has jumped on the band wagon. Who needs a missus when young hot "pussy" is just waiting to be stroked, licked and poked by impatient superstars who just can't get enough, miaouw!

Infidelity is "in" and the rest of the world should (or already has) follow suit, abandon marriage as a Dodo (especially at a certain time of the month and when the missus is pregnant!) and "lay" what ever crosses one's path, but not at a £grand a night, (such expensive pussies are only reserved for our our over-payed, pampered superstars).

Volga from the Olga is going cheap though, 10 Roubles an hour, nasty!!!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Wayne Rooney




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
30 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more