England boss Fabio Capello remained in typically defiant mood last night following a NARROW 4-1 defeat at the hands of arch enemies Germany.
Adopted Englishman Capello insisted, through an interpreter, "Our brave Tommies overcame the evils of Nazi tyranny and fought them on the beaches. We saw that again today. Only the fight today was on grass, not sand" declared the sacked Italian supremo.
Roar
The roaring three lions showed their teeth in the early exchanges but, totally against the run of play, conceded two fluke goals to the lucky Germans. Showing true Dunkirk spirit, however, it wasn't long before the English crusaders found the net with a stunning 60 yard piledriver from prolific scorer Matty Upson. Minutes later the charismatic sorcerer Frank Lampard unleashed a 65 yard thunderbolt which went a clear SIX feet over the line. The wonder strike though was adjudged not to have crossed the line by referee's assistant Gerhart Schlaffman, 56, from DORTMUND, GERMANY, leading to accusations of bias at this tournament.
Undeterred, the rallying cry went out and our brave soldiers attacked and defended with fierce aplomb.
Sadly, it was not to be. Despite majestic performances in defence and up front with rampaging Scouse wizard Rooney, the scheming Hun narrowly edged out our boys to LIMP to a 4-1 win.
Typical Germans
War veteran Sid Arkwright, 98, from Cheam said "The Jerries have always been the same". He continued "Their chaps were so unsporting but I've seen it all before. Their game plan today was keeping hold of the ball. They wouldn't pass to our fellows and were showing off with all sorts of tricks and tomfoolery. It was bad form not allowing us to score a few more". "Not in the spirit of the game" Sid huffed. "I'm all for German efficiency but there's a time and place and this wasn't it".
Gemma Pooley, 19, from Blandford Forum agreed. "The introduction of our talisman, Heskey, was a masterstroke by Capello. Genius. Just genius. Sadly we were beaten by a team who just came here to keep possession, defend, and score more goals than us. It's a bad advert for the game and needs stamping out" she raged.
Alan on Twitter posted "I blame that witchdoctor. Our back four, normally rock solid, looked as though they had been cursed with wearing German Jackboots"
James, via text, was equally scathing: "I don't think the vuvuzelas helped the England cause. They're too noisy and I think this ultimately put us off our game. It needs looking at"
Meanwhile, Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, from Scotland, spoke to Newsarse and gave us his view. "I wasn't too bothered about the result really cos I'm Scottish but it's Wayne I really feel for. I spoke to him last night and he was really fired up for this one. He even cancelled golf practice to put in extra football training with the lads. That's the level of commitment you get from Roo. But I've said it before and I'll say it again. Typical Germans. Though to be fair they do have a Turk, an African and a couple of Poles".
