The greatest Man, Lover, Warrior, and Football player of all time, Kim Jung Ill, has declared, "Ultimate Victory," in North Korea's bid to win the 2010 World Cup, despite the fact that ESPN is reporting that North Korea was eliminated by Portugal 7-0.
"Portugal is a country of capitalist scum," said Mr. Ill, "they are the country that financed Christopher Columbus's trip around the world, and if it weren't for those bastards we wouldn't even have the problems with America that we do now. Victory is ours, I declare a parade in my Honor!"
ESPN attempted to interview the victorious North Korean players, however, according to Kim Jung Ill, "As the first North Korean World Cup Winners they now have the distinct honor to play with my nuclear balls. That is all! Dismissed!"
