South African Security Stewards Begin Riot Over Pay in Vuvuzelas

Funny story written by Charpa93

Monday, 14 June 2010

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Durban, South Africa - A small riot broke out shortly following the soccer match in Durban between Germany and Australia over what was eventually deemed a protest by Security Stewards over the pay they received for a long day of working the soccer match.

It was first reported that the riot broke out due to Germany's win, but was later determined that no one really cared if Germany won or not and the Australians quickly dispersed after being told there was free beers for everyone down at the local pub.

The dispute between the security stewards and the police, however, was not as easily dispersed. It took about 100 police surrounding about 300 protesters and firing rubber bullets and percussive grenades into the crowd to finally get it to disperse.

"We were offered 1500 rand to work the crowds for the day," said one angry protester. "When we went to pick up our pay, we were handed an envelope with only about 200 rand and a coupon for a free vuvuzela. We feel the company bosses took advantage of our love for the vuvuzela and thought that they could cheat us out of the money they promised if they gave us all vuvuzelas. Under any other circumstances, this might have worked, but not when you are promised one thing and given another in its place," he said.

Meanwhile FIFA officials are trying to solve the matter but several of the workers have already gone home, having had to walk some four hours to get there due to the fact that the promise of transportation home was also conveniently not forthcoming.

Just as the sweet melody of a harmonica played by the lonesome cowboy on the prairie haunts us all when we hear it, the sound of vuvuzelas from the brush surrounding the multi-million dollar complex in Durban is a quick reminder that them that has, has and them that don't has vuvuzelas and a long, sad walk home.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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