Roberto Mancini to be surgically removed from his scarf

Written by Bill Licks

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

image for Roberto Mancini to be surgically removed from his scarf
Roberto Mancini puts on a brave face

Under pressure Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini is to undergo an operation to have his infamous woolly blue and white scarf removed from his neck before British Summer Time begins this weekend.

He was clearly agitated during his side's defeat against Everton when he was shown a red card after fighting with Everton boss David Moyes who tried to remove the scarf himself.

The operation, which is not thought to be life threatening, will be performed by one of Italy's top surgeons Dr Stronzo Sciarpa, who is a leading expert in removing garish knitwear.

The procedure will involve Mancini being put under a local anaesthetic before he has his head clamped in a vice to prevent him from moving around too much. Dr Sciarpa will then use a surgical tool called a forbici, or a pair of scissors in English, to carefully cut the scarf from the rear of Mancini's neck. He will then replace the scarf with a blue and white silk cravat in an effort to ease Mancini into the English spring without him feeling too much of a chill on his neck.

Mancini will reveal his new look on Monday night in Manchester City's game against Wigan Athletic. He is also hoping the cravat will bring a change in fortunes to his sides ailing season.

Dr Sciarpa will remain in the UK to perform an operation on a hero from the red side of Manchester when he will be helping Wayne Rooney to remove his gloves in time for the World Cup this summer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more