Ti Cuff Assassination Fails; Durham City wins Match

Funny story written by Cuff

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

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They'll never stop me!

Al Qaeda extremists, The Royal Society, Durham City Footballers Fan Club and Al Gore joined forces in the greatest manhunt since that of Bin Laden. Mayhem ensued as the masked army descended on the pitch during an exhibition home match against the UK Special Olympian Team.

Terror resulted when the angry horde of bad guys began a search for the underrated; let us repeat that, underrated as in stars satirist Ti Cuff. Location of the hobbit hole hideout was garnered from a tip off an English sausage which led to the purported location and most secure area in the city; the visitors goal.

"Someone has to stop this bastard." One of the two members of the DCFF booster organization cried. "It is bad enough that we suck we don't need our faces rubbed in it."

It is understandable that al Qaeda is upset since bin Laden joined the priesthood and the Royal Society doesn't need any excuse to participate in mass murder but why Al Gore?

"I'm being proactive." The former inventor of the internet offered. "It's just a matter of time before he gets to me."

The carnage began with less than 14 minutes left in the match tied nil nil as the would be assassins beheaded the refs then set there attention to the helpless and brave Olympians who fell one by one leaving the goal untended. To the murderers dismay the hobbit hole was empty but a note left; 'cuff you and your mammas'. The entire assault lasted less than a minute.

The amused crowd, quite accustomed to massacres, remained for the duration of the match that Durham City narrowly won 1-nil with one second left.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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