Ryan Shawcross Meant It

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

image for Ryan Shawcross Meant It
The Knee Bone's connected to the ... Bad Bone

Ryan Shawcross, the Stoke City hatchetman who poleaxed the Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey on Saturday, and was then selected for the England squad to face Egypt at Wembley on Wednesday, has said that "there probably is a bad bone in my body".

Potters potty manager Tony Pulis said after the match last Saturday that he knew Shawcross, and that there wasn't a bad bone in his body, and that there was "no way" that the defender had intended to hurt Ramsey.

But yesterday, in his local pub, Shawcross admitted to friends that:

"It was great! I heard his bones smash, and I allowed myself a little inward smile. Then I forced out some crocodile tears for the fans."

It's the first time that a Stoke player has been selected for the England squad since the last one, whoever that was, and will probably be the last for a while, bearing in mind just how shit Stoke are.

Tony Pulis is an anagram of Sony Tulip.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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