Sports analyst Doctor Michael Kane today attempted to explain Burnley's miserable Premier League away form to legions of disappointed fans.
Reeling Burnley today squirmed as they were mercilessly battered into submission 5-2 by Aston Villa. Many people can't think why Burnley should be so crap on the road, yet hold their own at home. Is it tactical? Is it a gulf in class?
No, says Michael Kane. It's the minibus.
What a lot of people don't know but Michael Kane does, is that the entire Burnley staff, players, substitutes, and officials travel to away games on a minibus. With the kit jammed in too.
"It gets pretty crowded in there," Michael Kane told us. "They're packed in like sardines, often sitting on top of one another. That's not good for the circulation. For a top class footballer it's a disaster."
Few observers have actually seen the Burnley team arrive for away fixtures because they park the minibus some distance away to avoid being embarrassed by Sky TV cameras. But one man who had seen them arrive at Villa Park, Johnny Bejayzus of Aston, said:
"I couldn't believe they could fit so many people in a minibus. When I found out that they were top footballers...well! They were all limping and holding their backs and gritting their teeth and that. It was horrible!"
Asked why Burnley managed their sole point on the road at Manchester City, Michael Kane told us:
"It's only down the road. They wouldn't have gotten too cramped up on a short trip."
Burnley's agonising struggle for survival continues.
More as we get it.
